To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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