Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
