this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize