Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
