She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
