This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
