honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
