i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
This house was built for laser tag.
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I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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