I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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