I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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