She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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