He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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