Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
