A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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