i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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