question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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