I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
