its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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