so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
