The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
