we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
