I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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