I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
