I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
