well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
