Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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