So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Apparently you make a good broom.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize