oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
