now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
