how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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