Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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