I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
