The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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