So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you inspire me to be a worse person
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
