and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
