Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
