lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
