You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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