All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
