Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
