I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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