Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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