no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
