thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
