how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
