Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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