There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
