why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
