Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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