As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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