im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
