She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
please don't ironically join a cult
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
