i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
