I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
