what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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