whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
