Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize