Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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