No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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