Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
