Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This is the high leading the old right now
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
