I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
