my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
