Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
