i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
