Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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