I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
