Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
